Adam's Rib

Do you think he missed it? That another one grew in? That he had any ongoing rib issues throughout his life? I think about ribs a lot, because mine seem to have a mind of their own. One will pop out of place every so often, and in case you've never thought about it, you can feel the pain of an out of place rib not only every time you move, but also every time you breathe. The problem with having a rib out is that it's so distractingly painful that it stresses one out to the point of depressive desperation. I think about it all the time, because I am never NOT reminded that it's out, that it hurts, that I have no idea when I'll feel better. And these thoughts/stress cause the muscles to become so tight around the rib that it's near impossible to get it to move back into place. The worst it ever was, it was out for three months. Physical therapy, chiropractors, massages, nothing worked. And I was a wreck. What did the trick was loading up on muscle relaxants (courtesy of my doctor father). The muscles did exactly that and let the rib go.

So here I am now, tempted to go straight for the drugs, but willing to give some other things a try first. Which is why I went to the chiropractor yesterday. Of course, I'm not messing around. This guy is the Indians' chiropractor, and it's nice to know that he deals with this all the time, as throwing ribs out is the most common ailment he sees for those guys. As he explained to me why this made perfect sense for men throwing hundred mile an hour pitches, I found myself then wondering why this happens to ME. Girl who never throws anything. At any amount of speed. Ever.

The appointment was wonderful (water therapy and heat application that almost literally relaxed me into sleep) until he started adjusting me, at which point all chiropractors cease to be medical professionals and become something akin to barbaric animals with no skills apart from squeezing the life out of you. Because I'm "jammed up" to the point that it seemed to have alarmed him, I of course have to go back, because of course my rib is still out. He says we'll tackle it over a series of visits, which is fine, except: 1) I doubt it takes weeks for him to get the Indians' ribs back into place, because that's simply unacceptable, and 2) we can't really control when the muscles decide to let my rib go, and it's quite possible that no amount of heat or massaging will do the trick, so is it even worth my time to go back again and again? Should I just bust out the drugs?