Cedar Point

My little brothers used to have this video game where you could put together roller coasters and then get points based on things like how many people threw up or lost their mind. I always thought this was a strange game. Strange because why would a ride cause anyone to lose their mind, and if the ride had this kind of reputation, why would people continue to ride it?

For any who are not roller coaster buffs, Cedar Point is a well known coaster park located in Sandusky, Ohio. Not known for a stomach of steel, in fact, I've been known to have some motion sick related "incidents" in the past, but hey, I like roller coasters as much as the next girl, so I went into my night at the park with high hopes. Of course, the kind of roller coasters I'm used to are normal up-and-down hills. I put my hands up and love the few seconds of thrill as we careen down toward earth. The rides at Cedar Point, however, are not like this. They are psycho. What follows is the best and the worst of my experience in Sandusky.

The first ride I went on was "The Raptor." Let it be known that I had decided (based on its online description) that this was one of the few I would NOT go on. But I was assured by several people that it was one of the most enjoyable rides in the park. I didn't realize the kind of joy they were referring to is the kind that makes you sure you are turning inside out. Instead of sitting in some kind of car, this ride has you attached to the track from above, leaving your legs dangling. I was not nervous at all as the ride started, had even talked myself into thinking it would be fun, but as soon as we went over the first hill and came hurtling straight down toward the earth, I basically shut down. All I could do was close my eyes, try to keep my head from hitting the sides of my harness, and think happy thoughts like "What was I thinking?" I really can't describe how unprepared I was for how unnatural and unpleasant the constant inversion was, and I also can't describe my despair when Blender Boy (boy from my unfortunate blender catastrophe of several weeks ago) shouted to me halfway through, "How are you doing, Tali?" "Fine!" "Good, cause we're about to get hammered!" At that point I really couldn't picture it getting any worse. And when we proceeded to the photo room to look at our picture (I was mortified at the thought of what I would look like!), they had, get this, VIDEO footage of us throughout the ride. Have I mentioned mortifying yet? Blender Boy: "Why is your head down?"

With my stomach in a big knot from the previous ride, I was so worked up about the possibility of any other ride tipping me over the edge and into Pukeville that I was nearing panic mode as we were about to board "The Maverick." I knew it was probably not a good idea to go on any more rides, but I also knew that I had to suck it up...mostly because we were about to board. Blender Boy had become increasingly more nervous about my stomach...because I had started to say things like "If I throw up, I'm so sorry. I don't think I will, but, I mean, you know people do." When we were the next people in line to board, the workers were looking for a single rider to fill an empty seat in the car that was about to leave. I knew Blender Boy was seriously thinking about it. I know this because he said "Maybe I should take that one." Now, don't think less of him. The possibility of being puked on? It's a pretty big gamble. I would have let him take the seat. I mean, I didn't want to puke on him either. But he stayed put and as we headed up the first hill, the one that would lead us into a 95-degree angle plunge, I prayed that I could just make it through the next 2 minutes. I was delighted to find that not only did I make it, I enjoyed it. I LOVED it. It was still extremely intense, but the movement felt much more natural. Whereas the Raptor left me stunned into silence, the Maverick left me screaming in glee for the familiar feeling of roller coaster thrill. Still so intense, but a much better ride.

Moral of the story: People love crazy coasters, I am just not one of them. Had I been a cyber-rider in my brothers' video game, I would have scored them big points.