Thoughts from a Singleton

I am not one who feels depressed about being single. Life is too good, even without a spouse. I am healthy, have a great job, make a lot of money, am part of a fabulous family, and have had the education many people wish for and will never get. But, of course, there are certain things that make me more aware of my singleness. Events, such as my brother's wedding last weekend, which left me comparing my age to his and feeling a bit panicked. Remarks, such as an acquaintance asking why I have chosen a career over family or why I have not found what I'm looking for in the number of decent guys I have dated. And these events and/or remarks can put me in a temporary meltdown status.

Case in point. Last week, thinking about E's impending wedding, I felt surprisingly down about my own life situation. I left my desk, went to sit in my car for a few minutes, phoned a good friend and asked, "What am I doing with my life besides getting older, losing eggs, and slaving for the man?" It was a fair question. Even as I thought about it later, determined to prove that I am, in fact, doing more with my life, the only thing I could think of to add to the list was that I'm working on writing a book. But other than that, seriously, I live for the job. By default.

I will mention here a book I've just finished reading. One of my four blog readers might remember that I was able to be involved with Kristen Oaks' recently published book, A Single Voice. She discusses her 50+ years of being a single LDS woman prior to marrying Dallin H. Oaks. The book, while somewhat repetitive, I consider quite accurate, and I appreciate her honesty about her own experiences and struggles over her many single years. She mentions things like going to church, celebrating holidays, things that can become trying as a single person, especially as an LDS single. (And when you see a "Tali May" listed in the acknowledgements, do not be fooled. It is me. Ironic as it is that my own name would be a typo, I have decided against demanding a reprint).

Bottom line: no LDS girl expects to be single in her late twenties, but those of us who find ourselves in that situation make the best of it. Just keep in mind that we will occasionally break down. Which is why, in case you are the person I call the next time this happens, you should have some reassuring words prepared.