My good friend Kat, whom I miss terribly, introduced me to the idea of the "Not me Monday" via a series of hilarious monday posts. It was in the spirit of the "Not me Monday" that I planned on writing this post last night, but alas, the evening got away from me. So, pretending it's yesterday....
I most certainly did not call American Express to have them send me a replacement corporate card, because I of course did not lose my old one. I mean, who would be so irresponsible? Not me. And I assure you that I didn't entertain the idea of working from home today just so I could sign for the card when it arrived. The thought didn't even cross my mind. No, sir. So you know I didn't even consider asking my friend to ask her husband, a former UPS driver, to try and look up the package to see what kind of signature requirements it was mailed with. I would have never been so silly as to get them involved.
I for sure did not open my cell phone bill and find it to be twice as much as usual, because I absolutely did not send hundreds more texts than I was allowed. Nor is it even remotely possible that I made some calls while in Canada last month, not realizing they would bill me at a rate of a billion dollars a minute. I would never let my bill get that out of hand. Not me.
I would never drive all the way to the institute building, teach a 3 minute FHE lesson, and then leave immediately. That would be way too bratty, and I'm not a brat. Not me. I would at least stay the whole time. And socialize incessantly.
I did not count exactly five pairs of heels in my car, because having so many shoes in one's car would be ridiculous. I never wear adidas sandals in the morning when I leave the house, so there would be no reason to keep a buffer of office footwear options in the car. No reason at all.
And you can bet I didn't have a long discussion with M about possibly easing up on the relationship and then proceed to make out with him for what will remain an undisclosed length of time. Because that is so messed up. And I never do anything that is messed up. Nope. Never. Not me.
Bring on next Monday.
Camping at Pine Flats July 2025
10 months ago
3 comments:
Two comments:
One: My sister and I recently cleaned out my car (it was the definition of roach coach) and found no fewer than 7 pairs of shoes in said car. S.E.V.E.N. Most of which were work heels because I, like you would wear my Teva sandals into school, change shoes, then put the sandals back on to walk to the car, and then launch my heels into the backseat, frontseat, trunk, you name it.
Second: WHOA about M! If only you didn't already have a lunch date on Friday with C, we would NEED to have one. Like emergency lunch date. Call me, yo!
ok i definitely want to know how long now. you foul temptress.
So in suspense!
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